7. What I should have said (a fantasy interlude)

The scene: Outside Gelson's Market, 11:30 am

Hippy: Do you have a moment for women's rights?

Joey: Of course, I do. (smiles without breaking stride, continues walking)

Hippy: Hey, wait!

Joey: (stops and turns back) Yes?

Hippy: You said you had time for women's rights.

Joey: Yes, of course I do. Good day. (turns to leave again)

Hippy: But if you have time for them, then why are you walking away?

Joey: Ah. I see. Well, it's mainly because I don't appreciate your cheap, emotionally manipulative tactics.

Hippy: My what?

Joey: Your tactics. You ask me a question that I cannot possibly say no to. Or, I could say no to, but feel guilty about for hours. It's emotionally manipulative.

Hippy: Well, yeah. That's kind of the point. Guilt is powerful.

Joey: Sure it is, but you don't know me from Adam. I may be a big giver where I can. Maybe I donate to NPR. Maybe I spend my Sundays helping out at the local homeless shelter. Maybe I give elsewhere, and I can't afford to give to your cause. Maybe I rescue stray cats and find them homes and I'm just stretched too thin to handle the guilt about Planned Parenthood's funding!

Hippy: Wow. I see your point. And do you do all those things?

(he stares at her a long moment before speaking)

Joey: Well, no! ...but I've thought about it.

Hippy: How about $20?

Joey: Where do I sign?