What should have been the happiest day of a newly-wed couple's life ended up being the goriest. The nuptial celebration of young Breanna VanSickle and Shay Spear was shockingly thrown into uproar when a zombie mexican attacked several guests.
"It was awful." Says one guest, who asked to remain anonymous. "I mean, have you ever smelled a zombie Mexican? I mean you thought regular Mexicans smelled bad. Phew! I just wish these damn dirty zombie Mexicans would stay in their own damn country!"
Senator John McCain, formally a long-time proponent of an easier path to citizenship for those Mexicans already within our borders seems to have changed his tune after this horrible episode. When questioned about the wedding fiasco, he had only this to say:
"See!? See?! SB1070 is right on the money! Racial profiling my ass! They want our jobs, they want to take advantage of our social safety net, and now they want our brains with some pinto beans and a nice chianti. thpp thpp thpp."
Law enforcement officials all over Arizona appear to be breathing a sigh of relief. "Well, now we don't even need to ask a suspected illegal for papers, we can just shoot him in the face and say he was a zombie" quipped Sheriff Joe Arpaio.
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ReplyDeleteBwahaha! Pinto beans and sangria, you mean.
ReplyDelete